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Stemond Hams

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Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions.
Ah, Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome.
I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
Yeah.
Oh, egads! My roast is ruined.
But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour.
Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill.
Isometric exercise.
Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh.
That isn't smoke.
It's steam.
Steam from the steamed clams we're having.
Mmm.
Steamed clams.
Whew.
Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.
I thought we were having steamed clams.
D'oh, no.
I said steamed hams.
That's what I call hamburgers.
You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes.
It's a regional dialect.
- Uh-huh.
Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York.
Really.
Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams.
" Oh, not in Utica.
No.
It's an Albany expression.
I see.
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Oh, no.
Patented Skinner burgers.
Old family recipe.
- For steamed hams.
- Yes.
Yes.
And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.
- Of course.
Well, that was wonderful.
A good time was had by all.
I'm pooped.
Yes.
I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis.
- Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes.
- May I see it? No.
Seymour.
! The house is on fire.
! No, Mother.
It's just the northern lights.
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Achievements

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Game		#	Unlocked achievements				Locked achievements
			Current best	#	Points	%	Next easiest	#	Points	%
	ABZÛ	12	0.6488454938	4	2.04	33.3	0.5750373006	8	7.24	66.7
	Among Us	33	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5199301243	33	38.57	100
	Apex Legends	12	0.3488724530	2	0.62	16.7	0.3733273149	10	5.13	83.3
	Batman: Arkham City GOTY	64	0.5616691113	11	5.06	17.2	0.5744655728	53	58.05	82.8
	Besiege	47	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6021105647	47	107.78	100
	BioShock 2	60	-1	0	0.00	0	0.8266219497	60	86.74	100
	BioShock 2 Remastered	45	-1	0	0.00	6.7	0.8934652805	45-3	59.18	100
	BioShock Infinite	50	0.3465146124	9	2.58	18	0.3397159874	41	30.41	82
	BioShock Remastered	65	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5091055632	65	74.03	100
	Braid	12	0.3840687573	2	0.63	16.7	0.4283720255	10	6.86	83.3
	Cities: Skylines	43	0.3536970019	2	0.50	4.7	0.2580487728	41	67.58	95.3
	Cities: Skylines - Snowfall	11	0.0887096897	1	0.09	9.1	0.0895090923	10	9.33	90.9
	Clustertruck	19	0.8825957775	14	7.68	73.7	0.5821273923	5	4.51	26.3
	Control Ultimate Edition	67	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3276422024	67	50.85	100
	Counter-Strike 2	1	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6963884234	1	0.70	100
	Cuphead	28	0.6450998187	9	2.87	32.1	0.3460471928	19	15.92	67.9
	DEFCON	22	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6873555183	22	40.53	100
	Disco Elysium	45	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6155866385	45	69.00	100
	Downwell	20	0.2827767730	3	0.80	15	0.4672088623	17	17.98	85
	Dune: Spice Wars	97	-1	0	0.00	0	0.1780650020	97	143.09	100
	The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim	50	0.5794256330	14	3.31	28	0.2599305511	36	18.41	72
	The Escapists	37	-1	0	0.00	0	0.8340867162	37	62.50	100
	Europa Universalis IV	190	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5322743058	190	300.17	100
	F1 2021	50	0.8956290483	8	3.07	16	0.1857439727	42	36.03	84
	Fallout 4	50	0.3586219549	9	2.23	18	0.2325786352	41	23.85	82
	Farming Simulator 19	23	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3091188073	23	18.43	100
	Garry's Mod	29	0.2982194722	5	0.87	17.2	0.4124296606	24	25.65	82.8
	Goat Simulator	49	0.6587203741	4	2.03	8.2	0.2753572166	45	38.09	91.8
	Grand Theft Auto V Legacy	77	1.1081554890	18	8.11	23.4	0.2374360412	59	45.17	76.6
	GRID 2	50	1.4108585119	5	3.48	10	0.6738467216	45	53.60	90
	Half-Life 2	69	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2776180804	69	95.76	100
	Hearts of Iron IV	74	0.9421244860	5	3.90	6.8	0.8241524696	69	202.32	93.2
	Country Pack - Hearts of Iron IV: Battle for the Bosporus	20	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5617044568	20	18.01	100
	Expansion - Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor	10	-1	0	0.00	0	0.9279971123	10	11.54	100
	Expansion - Hearts of Iron IV: La Résistance	20	0.5313015580	1	0.53	5	0.1673600972	19	11.02	95
	Expansion - Hearts of Iron IV: Waking the Tiger	18	-1	0	0.00	0	0.8119586110	18	20.36	100
	HITMAN™ 2	17	1.0689098835	8	5.68	47.1	0.7385642529	9	10.94	52.9
	HITMAN™ 2 - Miami	7	0.0051552667	1	0.01	14.3	0.3489008248	6	3.68	85.7
	HITMAN™ 2 - Santa Fortuna	7	0.0058461567	1	0.01	14.3	0.4315152168	6	3.72	85.7
	Holdfast: Nations At War	38	0.4740277827	3	0.99	7.9	0.5398905873	35	63.40	92.1
	HuniePop	20	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2527572811	20	16.32	100
	INSIDE	14	0.3422976434	1	0.34	7.1	0.5268306732	13	8.63	92.9
	Ion Assault	18	1.3079257011	1	1.31	5.6	0.8836641312	17	31.11	94.4
	Jet Car Stunts	12	0.8369755149	2	1.66	16.7	0.9426090717	10	20.28	83.3
	Just Cause 3	47	0.9794511199	25	14.61	53.2	0.8273372054	22	26.92	46.8
	Just Cause™ 3 DLC: Mech Land Assault	6	0.1076591313	3	0.20	50	0.3120250106	3	1.26	50
	Just Cause™ 3 DLC: Sky Fortress Pack	7	1.1386687756	7	5.44	100	100	0	0.00	0
	Killing Floor	285	1.4050135612	40	30.01	14.4	0.5477591753	245-1	331.30	85.6
	Killing Floor 2	307	0.8270429373	15	6.86	4.9	0.2933162451	292	304.62	95.1
	Killing Floor Mod: Defence Alliance 2	30	-1	0	0.00	0	2.6672124863	30	81.18	100
	L.A. Noire	40	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2834202945	40	33.73	100
	Left 4 Dead	73	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3478309810	73	61.15	100
	Left 4 Dead 2	101	0.7736005783	3	1.79	3	0.1568968147	98	100.58	97
	LEGO® Jurassic World	49	0.6355919838	11	5.45	22.4	0.5936831236	38	31.85	77.6
	METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES	16	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3745365739	16	16.14	100
	METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN	42	0.2176167816	2	0.41	4.8	0.2457602173	40	29.66	95.2
	Outlast	8	0.7045285702	2	1.31	25	0.7845143676	6	6.54	75
	PAYDAY 2	715	0.7565783858	23	9.22	3.2	0.4158941805	692	843.63	96.8
	PAYDAY 2: Gage Weapon Pack #02	10	0.0070039998	1	0.01	10	0.5236461163	9	6.08	90
	PAYDAY 2: The Big Bank Heist	20	0.0912334248	1	0.09	5	0.1181939319	19	9.64	95
	PAYDAY 2: The Charlie Santa Heist	15	0.2605371475	1	0.26	6.7	0.1881605685	14	6.15	93.3
	PAYDAY 2: The Diamond Store Heist	6	0.0422247946	1	0.04	16.7	0.1341021657	5	1.12	83.3
	PAYDAY 2: The Election Day Heist	16	0.2194387764	1	0.22	6.3	0.1362613589	15	5.65	93.8
	PAYDAY 2: The Shadow Raid Heist	12	0.2999415398	6	1.33	50	0.1729872823	6	1.80	50
	Planetary Annihilation	19	-1	0	0.00	0	1.0938923359	19	32.58	100
	Planetary Annihilation: TITANS	19	1.1548346281	5	5.06	26.3	0.9882950783	14	23.26	73.7
	Portal 2	51	0.5374466777	20	6.47	39.2	0.3709169328	31	25.11	60.8
	Prison Architect	18	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6040263772	18	22.49	100
	PROTOTYPE 2	43	0.4522092938	6	2.40	14	0.5093701482	37	28.30	86
	Quiplash	10	-1	0	0.00	0	0.9732393026	10	13.12	100
	Red Dead Redemption 2	51	0.6723811030	16	7.53	31.4	0.6555076838	35	36.87	68.6
	Rocket League	72	0.8447133899	58	17.67	80.6	0.4828430414	14	10.97	19.4
	Rocket League® - Revenge of the Battle-Cars DLC Pack	5	0.1628523916	1	0.16	20	0.1789240986	4	1.35	80
	Rocket League® - Supersonic Fury DLC Pack	6	0.1844971627	1	0.18	16.7	0.0626742318	5	1.51	83.3
	Saints Row: The Third	53	0.1371254176	2	0.27	5.7	0.2052080035	51-1	35.21	94.3
	Sea of Thieves	293	0.2624087036	4	0.58	1.4	0.0936079547	289	457.72	98.6
	Sid Meier's Civilization V	118	0.9229335189	16	4.47	13.6	0.1916144192	102	107.58	86.4
	Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition	59	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3542083800	59	53.29	100
	Space Engineers	29	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5485649109	29	47.56	100
	STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ II: The Sith Lords™	57	-1	0	0.00	0	0.6663007736	57	76.49	100
	Superflight	24	0.3435063958	8	1.88	33.3	0.3347454965	16	8.91	66.7
	SUPERHOT	26	0.8628454208	14	6.71	53.8	0.6014030576	12	13.82	46.2
	SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE	14	0.7124861479	3	2.05	21.4	0.7630767226	11	12.04	78.6
	Team Fortress 2	520	0.5483896732	27	8.30	6	0.2396273762	493-4	348.44	94
	A Total War Saga: THRONES OF BRITANNIA	137	-1	0	0.00	0	0.7413288951	137	213.16	100
	Total War: ROME II - Emperor Edition	109	1.7234191895	43	26.10	41.3	0.6916942000	66-2	92.62	58.7
	Total War: ROME II - Desert Kingdoms Culture Pack	6	0.0631367341	1	0.06	16.7	0.4183979630	5	2.37	83.3
	Total War: SHOGUN 2	106	1.1944731474	2	1.71	1.9	0.6518958807	104	164.79	98.1
	Total War: THREE KINGDOMS	55	0.3670483232	7	1.63	12.7	0.2934249043	48	46.09	87.3
	Total War: THREE KINGDOMS - The Furious Wild	5	0.0036614561	1	0.00	20	0.8764839768	4	4.48	80
	Tropico 5	50	-1	0	0.00	0	0.3451810181	50	52.12	100
	War Thunder	91	-1	0	0.00	0	0.4779259264	91	152.15	100
	The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt — Remastered	52	-1	0	0.00	0	0.2125807256	52	33.81	100
	The Witness	2	0.8255361319	1	0.83	50	1.2255084515	1	1.23	50

Spam games

Game		#	Unlocked achievements				Locked achievements
			Current best	#	Points	%	Next easiest	#	Points	%
	Hot Pussy College 🍓🔞	10	-1	0	0.00	0	0.5223850608	10	6.22	100

Profile was last updated on March 15, 2023 at 01:49 PM.

Next automatic update on October 21, 2026 at 10:16 AM.