| Game |
Achievement |
Points |
Unlocked |
 |
 |
There's always money in the banana stand |
1.04 | 10/08/2023 00:50:02 |
| Found the secret bank exit on Monday. |
|
 |
I don't need virgins for this |
1.12 | 10/01/2023 07:00:45 |
| Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. |
|
 |
Uncle T-Bag |
1.21 | 10/01/2023 06:40:41 |
| Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. |
|
 |
Paid the Piper |
0.93 | 10/01/2023 06:33:14 |
| Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. |
|
 |
Señor Cornballer |
1.07 | 10/01/2023 04:43:45 |
| Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
|
 |
Can't Touch This |
0.86 | 10/01/2023 04:15:31 |
| Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. |
|
 |
Thanks for the money! |
1.02 | 09/21/2023 18:04:18 |
| Finished all seven days. |
|
 |
I swear, I thought it was a home fill |
0.99 | 09/21/2023 18:01:39 |
| Exploded a nuclear bomb. |
|
 |
A-Rod Who? |
1.06 | 09/21/2023 17:41:40 |
| Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. |
|
 |
Screw Bill Lumbergh! |
0.90 | 09/20/2023 16:24:15 |
| Survived Saturday. |
|
 |
Shiva Blast |
1.03 | 09/20/2023 15:42:37 |
| "Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. |
|
 |
Running With Scissors |
1.03 | 09/20/2023 15:29:24 |
| Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. |
|
 |
Planet of the Apes: The Musical |
1.40 | 09/19/2023 22:25:56 |
| Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. |
|
 |
FAB-U-LOUS! |
0.89 | 09/19/2023 21:15:03 |
| Wore all three outfits. |
|
 |
I'm not even supposed to be here today! |
1.06 | 09/19/2023 18:59:55 |
| Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us! |
|
 |
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree |
0.78 | 09/19/2023 18:45:26 |
| Killed all of the book protestors in the library. |
|
 |
Fear and Loathing |
1.30 | 07/20/2019 05:50:43 |
| Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. |
|
 |
Rick Grimes 4 Life |
1.04 | 07/19/2019 00:09:50 |
| Made 30 zombies lose their heads. |
|
 |
Darth Maul'd! |
0.92 | 07/18/2019 23:53:36 |
| Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. |
|
 |
Don't taze me, bro! |
1.19 | 03/01/2014 18:52:54 |
| Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. |
|
 |
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale |
0.79 | 03/01/2014 18:47:46 |
| Roasted 30 people with fire. |
|
 |
Rebecca Black's Nightmare |
1.02 | 03/01/2014 18:43:55 |
| Totaled 30 cars. |
|
 |
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! |
0.85 | 01/05/2014 19:30:16 |
| Killed over 1,000 people. |
|
 |
Anger Management With Roger Clemens |
1.04 | 01/05/2014 19:00:37 |
| Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. |
|
 |
Lieberman is our Leader! |
0.64 | 01/05/2014 18:54:42 |
| Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. |
|
 |
Workin' for the Weekend |
0.83 | 01/05/2014 06:28:38 |
| Survived Friday. |
|
 |
SCREW that game! |
1.28 | 01/05/2014 05:23:04 |
| Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it. |
|
 |
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! |
0.81 | 01/05/2014 05:02:20 |
| Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. |
|
 |
Cesar Millan is Very Happy |
1.17 | 01/05/2014 05:01:01 |
| Mauled 30 people with your dog. |
|
 |
I should buy a boat |
1.07 | 01/05/2014 04:53:48 |
| Read the newspaper every day. |
|
 |
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays |
0.78 | 01/05/2014 04:52:24 |
| Survived Thursday. |
|
 |
Door Mat |
0.87 | 01/05/2014 04:27:39 |
| Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. |
|
 |
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. |
0.73 | 01/05/2014 03:57:56 |
| Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. |
|
 |
Where's Mr. McGibblets? |
0.82 | 01/05/2014 03:54:27 |
| Gave Krotchy the bad touch. |
|
 |
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! |
0.69 | 12/16/2013 04:28:05 |
| Survived Wednesday. |
|
 |
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace |
0.83 | 12/16/2013 04:10:16 |
| Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. |
|
 |
Chapelle's Show |
1.00 | 12/16/2013 03:37:45 |
| Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. |
|
 |
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog |
0.61 | 12/16/2013 03:03:07 |
| Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. |
|
 |
C U Next Tuesday |
0.61 | 12/16/2013 02:52:30 |
| Survived Tuesday. |
|
 |
Do you even Enzyte, bro? |
0.66 | 12/16/2013 02:23:32 |
| Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. |
|
 |
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway |
0.65 | 12/16/2013 02:05:34 |
| Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. |
|
 |
One time, at band camp... |
1.13 | 12/16/2013 02:01:42 |
| Saved the marching band from explody death. |
|
 |
Officer McLovin' |
0.49 | 12/16/2013 01:59:38 |
| Asked a police officer to sign your petition. |
|
 |
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! |
0.44 | 12/16/2013 01:57:39 |
| Survived Monday. |
|
 |
Duck Dynasty |
0.42 | 12/16/2013 01:41:21 |
| Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. |
|
 |
Fur Sure! |
0.68 | 12/16/2013 01:37:55 |
| Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. |
|
 |
Reddit would be proud. |
1.02 | 12/16/2013 01:24:19 |
| Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. |
|
 |
Found 'em faster than GWB |
1.07 | 12/14/2013 22:24:00 |
| Discovered the hidden Taliban base. |
|
 |
Gotta pay the Troll Toll |
0.83 | 12/14/2013 22:01:31 |
| Found one of the hidden underground sewers. |
|
 |
Here, Wilfred |
0.47 | 12/14/2013 05:42:51 |
| Gained your first dog helper. |
|
 |
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa |
0.46 | 12/14/2013 05:31:41 |
| Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. |
|
 |
Friend of Dorothy |
0.38 | 12/14/2013 05:30:41 |
| Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. |
|
 |
I Am Legend |
1.02 | 12/14/2013 05:29:08 |
| Committed suicide... the Taliban way. |
|
 |
R. Kelly's Protege |
0.34 | 12/14/2013 05:28:19 |
| Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. |
|
 |
Chuck Norris'd! |
0.91 | 12/14/2013 05:27:44 |
| Killed someone with a flying jump kick. |
|
 |
It's sterile and I like the taste |
0.54 | 12/14/2013 05:26:01 |
| Sucked down your own piss. |
|
 |
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you |
0.53 | 12/14/2013 05:25:38 |
| Put out someone that's on fire. |
|
 |
Finkle IS Einhorn! |
0.60 | 12/14/2013 05:17:54 |
| Gave a kickoff to a severed head. |
|
 |
Well, aren't YOU a badass |
0.40 | 12/14/2013 05:12:09 |
| Kicked open a door. |
