| Game |
Achievement |
Points |
 |
 |
Most Improved Tapulator |
1.35 |
| Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu. |
|
 |
Meet Your Maker |
1.52 |
| Penetrate God. |
|
 |
Summer Job |
1.36 |
| Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker. |
|
 |
Early Bird |
1.62 |
| Swallow every worm. |
|
 |
Sleep No More |
1.67 |
| Don't let sleeping dongs lie. |
|
 |
Swan Tamer |
1.04 |
| Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill. |
|
 |
Bulking Gear |
1.65 |
| Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains. |
|
 |
Paperwork |
1.62 |
| Submit your monthly physical report. |
|
 |
Popcorn Buffet |
1.43 |
| Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn. |
|
 |
Appalling Appetite |
1.74 |
| You should see a doctor immediately. |
|
 |
Clumsy |
1.26 |
| Die a lot of times in your nightmares. |
|
 |
A Better John |
1.01 |
| Start taking responsibility for you actions. |
|
 |
Master Unlocker |
1.46 |
| Collect enough milk to fill the tank. |
|
 |
Couch Party |
1.74 |
| Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game. |
|
 |
Always Finishes First |
1.19 |
| Good at video games. Terrible at sex. |
|
 |
Generous Lover |
0.66 |
| Finish last in a Party Mode game. |
|
 |
Spare Wheel |
1.37 |
| Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus. |
|
 |
The Perfect Partner |
1.41 |
| Marry yourself in Abstinence. |
|
 |
My Precious |
1.51 |
| Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings. |
|
 |
Magnetic Basshole |
1.51 |
| Win Lights Out in under five seconds. |
|
 |
Safety First |
1.53 |
| Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles. |
|
 |
Till Death Do Us |
1.14 |
| Have sex in the Date Night graveyard. |
|
 |
Autopaedicatio |
1.24 |
| Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode. |
|
 |
Fussy Lover |
1.82 |
| Save yourself for that special orgy. |
