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69.2 hours playing time on record

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Game Achievement Points Unlocked
Planet of the Apes: The Musical Planet of the Apes: The Musical 1.40 09/28/2014 19:01:00
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
I should buy a boat I should buy a boat 1.07 09/11/2014 19:10:00
Read the newspaper every day.
Reddit would be proud. Reddit would be proud. 1.02 09/10/2014 16:48:00
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
FAB-U-LOUS! FAB-U-LOUS! 0.89 09/10/2014 15:42:00
Wore all three outfits.
Thanks for the money! Thanks for the money! 1.03 09/10/2014 14:10:00
Finished all seven days.
I swear, I thought it was a home fill I swear, I thought it was a home fill 0.99 09/10/2014 14:09:00
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me Michonne ain't got nothin' on me 1.29 09/10/2014 13:22:00
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Anger Management With Roger Clemens Anger Management With Roger Clemens 1.05 09/10/2014 13:14:00
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Señor Cornballer Señor Cornballer 1.07 09/09/2014 23:05:00
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Fur Sure! Fur Sure! 0.68 09/09/2014 22:37:00
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Rick Grimes 4 Life Rick Grimes 4 Life 1.04 09/09/2014 21:53:00
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Screw Bill Lumbergh! Screw Bill Lumbergh! 0.90 09/09/2014 21:33:00
Survived Saturday.
Don't taze me, bro! Don't taze me, bro! 1.19 09/09/2014 21:04:00
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Chapelle's Show Chapelle's Show 1.01 09/09/2014 20:52:00
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Uncle T-Bag Uncle T-Bag 1.22 09/09/2014 20:50:00
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
A-Rod Who? A-Rod Who? 1.07 09/09/2014 20:37:00
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
I don't need virgins for this I don't need virgins for this 1.13 09/08/2014 21:11:00
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Hello, Newman Hello, Newman 1.22 09/08/2014 20:38:00
Kicked 30 dogs.
Pussy on a Pedestal Pussy on a Pedestal 1.20 09/08/2014 20:30:00
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Chuck Norris'd! Chuck Norris'd! 0.91 09/08/2014 20:22:00
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
I Am Legend I Am Legend 1.02 09/08/2014 20:17:00
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
One time, at band camp... One time, at band camp... 1.14 09/08/2014 20:07:00
Saved the marching band from explody death.
Officer McLovin' Officer McLovin' 0.49 09/08/2014 20:00:00
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Do you even Enzyte, bro? Do you even Enzyte, bro? 0.66 09/08/2014 19:47:00
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Cesar Millan is Very Happy Cesar Millan is Very Happy 1.18 09/08/2014 19:41:00
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! 0.85 09/08/2014 18:54:00
Killed over 1,000 people.
Workin' for the Weekend Workin' for the Weekend 0.83 09/07/2014 22:29:00
Survived Friday.
Rebecca Black's Nightmare Rebecca Black's Nightmare 1.02 09/07/2014 21:27:00
Totaled 30 cars.
Door Mat Door Mat 0.87 09/07/2014 21:08:00
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Darth Maul'd! Darth Maul'd! 0.92 09/07/2014 20:59:00
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays 0.78 09/07/2014 20:27:00
Survived Thursday.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! 0.81 09/07/2014 19:58:00
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Paid the Piper Paid the Piper 0.94 09/07/2014 19:57:00
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. 0.73 09/07/2014 19:56:00
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Can't Touch This Can't Touch This 0.86 09/07/2014 19:07:00
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Where's Mr. McGibblets? Where's Mr. McGibblets? 0.82 09/07/2014 18:44:00
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! 0.69 09/07/2014 15:10:00
Survived Wednesday.
Running With Scissors Running With Scissors 1.03 09/07/2014 14:55:00
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
It's sterile and I like the taste It's sterile and I like the taste 0.54 09/07/2014 14:41:00
Sucked down your own piss.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace 0.83 09/07/2014 14:33:00
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you 0.54 09/07/2014 14:14:00
Put out someone that's on fire.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale 0.79 09/07/2014 14:05:00
Roasted 30 people with fire.
C U Next Tuesday C U Next Tuesday 0.61 09/07/2014 13:58:00
Survived Tuesday.
Friend of Dorothy Friend of Dorothy 0.38 09/07/2014 13:54:00
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree 0.79 09/07/2014 13:50:00
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Here, Wilfred Here, Wilfred 0.47 09/07/2014 13:04:00
Gained your first dog helper.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway 0.65 09/07/2014 12:44:00
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! Someone's got a case of the Mondays! 0.44 09/06/2014 22:03:00
Survived Monday.
Lieberman is our Leader! Lieberman is our Leader! 0.64 09/06/2014 22:00:00
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty 0.43 09/06/2014 21:57:00
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
R. Kelly's Protege R. Kelly's Protege 0.34 09/06/2014 21:51:00
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Finkle IS Einhorn! Finkle IS Einhorn! 0.60 09/06/2014 21:46:00
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Well, aren't YOU a badass Well, aren't YOU a badass 0.40 09/06/2014 21:02:00
Kicked open a door.
CAN YOU DIG IT?! CAN YOU DIG IT?! 1.45
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
40 Year Old Virgin 40 Year Old Virgin 1.42
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Anustart! Anustart! 1.39
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Gary vs. The K. Man Gary vs. The K. Man 1.33
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Fear and Loathing Fear and Loathing 1.30
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
SCREW that game! SCREW that game! 1.28
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
John Rambo'd! John Rambo'd! 1.17
Made a very long killing spree.
Found 'em faster than GWB Found 'em faster than GWB 1.07
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
There's always money in the banana stand There's always money in the banana stand 1.04
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Shiva Blast Shiva Blast 1.03
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
You are not alone You are not alone 0.98
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Gotta pay the Troll Toll Gotta pay the Troll Toll 0.83
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog 0.61
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa Taxidermy with Chuck Testa 0.46
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Locked achievements

Game Achievement Points
Scientology Level: OT VIII Scientology Level: OT VIII 1.51
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
I'm not even supposed to be here today! I'm not even supposed to be here today! 1.06
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Achievement Stats 1.22
Executed 4 queries
690.04 KiB memory usage
20 crawler available

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