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Unlocking history of ProfessionalRetard for POSTAL 2 RSS feed

21.6 hours playing time on record

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Game Achievement Points Unlocked
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree 0.78 12/29/2013 22:05:12
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Pussy on a Pedestal Pussy on a Pedestal 1.19 12/29/2013 22:04:16
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
One time, at band camp... One time, at band camp... 1.13 12/29/2013 22:01:07
Saved the marching band from explody death.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace 0.83 12/29/2013 21:57:33
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway 0.65 12/29/2013 21:54:18
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Fur Sure! Fur Sure! 0.68 12/29/2013 18:26:27
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Thanks for the money! Thanks for the money! 1.02 12/29/2013 18:20:46
Finished all seven days.
I swear, I thought it was a home fill I swear, I thought it was a home fill 0.99 12/29/2013 18:19:30
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me Michonne ain't got nothin' on me 1.29 12/28/2013 16:26:59
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Rick Grimes 4 Life Rick Grimes 4 Life 1.04 12/28/2013 16:26:17
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Workin' for the Weekend Workin' for the Weekend 0.83 12/27/2013 20:16:34
Survived Friday.
You are not alone You are not alone 0.97 12/27/2013 20:12:28
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Anger Management With Roger Clemens Anger Management With Roger Clemens 1.04 12/27/2013 19:33:41
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
SCREW that game! SCREW that game! 1.27 12/27/2013 19:26:21
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
It's sterile and I like the taste It's sterile and I like the taste 0.54 12/27/2013 18:59:57
Sucked down your own piss.
Found 'em faster than GWB Found 'em faster than GWB 1.07 12/27/2013 13:17:17
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Gotta pay the Troll Toll Gotta pay the Troll Toll 0.83 12/27/2013 12:57:43
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Reddit would be proud. Reddit would be proud. 1.02 12/27/2013 12:48:10
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Don't taze me, bro! Don't taze me, bro! 1.18 12/27/2013 12:37:46
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
A-Rod Who? A-Rod Who? 1.06 12/27/2013 12:37:45
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Running With Scissors Running With Scissors 1.03 12/27/2013 12:33:15
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Hello, Newman Hello, Newman 1.22 12/27/2013 12:25:21
Kicked 30 dogs.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale 0.79 12/27/2013 12:24:46
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Uncle T-Bag Uncle T-Bag 1.21 12/26/2013 22:06:15
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Rebecca Black's Nightmare Rebecca Black's Nightmare 1.02 12/26/2013 21:57:51
Totaled 30 cars.
I Am Legend I Am Legend 1.02 12/26/2013 21:54:16
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! 0.85 12/26/2013 21:45:46
Killed over 1,000 people.
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays 0.78 12/26/2013 17:52:56
Survived Thursday.
Señor Cornballer Señor Cornballer 1.07 12/26/2013 17:43:12
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. 0.73 12/26/2013 17:42:20
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Can't Touch This Can't Touch This 0.85 12/26/2013 17:38:58
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
FAB-U-LOUS! FAB-U-LOUS! 0.89 12/26/2013 17:35:19
Wore all three outfits.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! 0.81 12/26/2013 16:58:51
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Chapelle's Show Chapelle's Show 1.00 12/26/2013 16:56:22
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Darth Maul'd! Darth Maul'd! 0.92 12/26/2013 16:34:49
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Friend of Dorothy Friend of Dorothy 0.38 12/26/2013 16:15:05
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you 0.53 12/26/2013 11:41:49
Put out someone that's on fire.
Where's Mr. McGibblets? Where's Mr. McGibblets? 0.82 12/26/2013 11:41:45
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! 0.69 12/26/2013 11:31:12
Survived Wednesday.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog 0.61 12/26/2013 11:19:30
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
C U Next Tuesday C U Next Tuesday 0.61 12/25/2013 20:25:13
Survived Tuesday.
Officer McLovin' Officer McLovin' 0.49 12/25/2013 00:50:03
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Here, Wilfred Here, Wilfred 0.47 12/25/2013 00:46:48
Gained your first dog helper.
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! Someone's got a case of the Mondays! 0.44 12/25/2013 00:45:53
Survived Monday.
Lieberman is our Leader! Lieberman is our Leader! 0.64 12/25/2013 00:31:59
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Chuck Norris'd! Chuck Norris'd! 0.91 12/14/2013 20:45:47
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Screw Bill Lumbergh! Screw Bill Lumbergh! 0.90 12/14/2013 15:53:39
Survived Saturday.
Well, aren't YOU a badass Well, aren't YOU a badass 0.40 12/14/2013 15:49:51
Kicked open a door.
Door Mat Door Mat 0.87 12/14/2013 15:49:44
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Finkle IS Einhorn! Finkle IS Einhorn! 0.60 12/14/2013 15:47:39
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa Taxidermy with Chuck Testa 0.46 12/14/2013 13:04:29
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Duck Dynasty Duck Dynasty 0.42 12/14/2013 12:41:41
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Shiva Blast Shiva Blast 1.03 12/14/2013 12:41:20
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Do you even Enzyte, bro? Do you even Enzyte, bro? 0.66 12/14/2013 12:35:10
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
R. Kelly's Protege R. Kelly's Protege 0.34 12/14/2013 12:00:53
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Locked achievements

Game Achievement Points
Cesar Millan is Very Happy Cesar Millan is Very Happy 1.17
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Fear and Loathing Fear and Loathing 1.30
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Anustart! Anustart! 1.38
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
40 Year Old Virgin 40 Year Old Virgin 1.41
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
CAN YOU DIG IT?! CAN YOU DIG IT?! 1.44
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Planet of the Apes: The Musical Planet of the Apes: The Musical 1.40
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Scientology Level: OT VIII Scientology Level: OT VIII 1.50
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
I should buy a boat I should buy a boat 1.07
Read the newspaper every day.
Paid the Piper Paid the Piper 0.93
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
I don't need virgins for this I don't need virgins for this 1.12
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
There's always money in the banana stand There's always money in the banana stand 1.04
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
John Rambo'd! John Rambo'd! 1.17
Made a very long killing spree.
Gary vs. The K. Man Gary vs. The K. Man 1.33
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
I'm not even supposed to be here today! I'm not even supposed to be here today! 1.05
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Achievement Stats 1.23-dev
Executed 4 queries
1033.58 KiB memory usage
20 crawler available

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